Tate's Birth Story Part 2

I didn't think things could get much worse from Quincy's birth...but I was wrong.

Quincy's birth was pretty traumatic for me, if you want to know the whole story you can find it somewhere on my blog.  I'm too lazy to look up how to link it to this post.  And after her birth I had some postpartum depression, especially around her birth.  I felt cheated out of the whole birthing experience by having to have a cesarean.  So when I found out I was pregnant, I knew I wanted things to be different this time.  I had already decided that I wanted a natural birth with as little medical intervention as possible.  I wanted to best chance I could get an doing a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean).  I was excited, I talked and interviewed doula's, hired a photographer to be at the birth, I wanted to be able to remember and document what was going to be an amazing event.

But in the last month of pregnancy, I started to remember everything that I went through with Quincy and started doubting my plan.  I thought maybe I did want to schedule a c section and skip the whole labor process.  But after talking with Christian, friends and my midwife, they reminded me that I really did want to try for a VBAC and experience giving birth.  My midwife didn't want me going past 41 weeks, and my office wouldn't induce me after having a c section, so a c section was scheduled for April 9th if I hadn't had him by then.

Well things started on Monday May 30th.  My contractions started in the early evening.  We decided to go to Costco and Target to get a few errands done.  I was having to constantly stop and get through the contractions.  I tried to get to bed early, but the contractions continued and I couldn't sleep.  Eventually they were 3-5 minutes apart for a couple hours and were super painful so I decided it was time to head to the hospital.  We got there and when I was checked I was only dilated to a fingertip....A FINGERTIP!!!!  I was so discouraged and tired.  I remember yelling at Christian and my mom in the waiting room "I hate everyone who tried to talk me into a VBAC" (sorry about that).  I kind of knew at that point that things were probably headed the same way they did with Quincy.  Labor forever and then never fully dilate.  They told me to go walk around for 2 hours and then they would check me again and if I had any cervical change then they would admit me.  Well I was exhausted and hadn't slept yet and knew that even if there was any change, it would still be a while if I was only a fingertip dilated, so we decided to go home.  Once morning came though, my labor stalled.  I was so upset that I decided to call my midwife and beg her to schedule me a c section for the earliest she could.  She asked me if I was sure and then said she would check and see when the hospital had an opening and call me back.  Since my labor had stalled I was actually able to take a nap and when she called I had had some sleep and was feeling better.  She said they could do it on Thursday April 2, but then I panicked and thought "maybe I don't want to do that".  I was crazy and emotional and ended up telling her I wanted to keep waiting.

Well Tuesday night the exact same thing happened, I had terrible hard contractions all night.  At this point I really started to realize that things weren't going the way I wanted and decided to call my midwife again the next morning (Wednesday).  They booked the c section for the next morning.  And I honestly didn't even know how I was going to make it until then.

Wednesday night things really started to pick up and my contractions were only a couple minutes apart.  Around 9 PM I decided to go into the hospital again, convinced that this was it.  When I was in the bathroom changing into my hospital gown to be checked, my water broke.  The nurse came in and checked and confirmed that my water had broken.  I was in horrible pain and my contractions were still close so when she told me I was only a centimeter dilated I literally burst into tears.  But since my water had broken they wanted to admit me and told me I could get an epidural, which at this point I was more than happy to hear.  I decided that maybe an epidural would calm me down and let my body progress.  But apparently everyone decided to have babies that day and labor and delivery was super packed.  It was three hours before I was even able to get an epidural.  But once I did, it was amazing.  I was relaxed and not in pain, but I could still feel the pressure of the contractions (and see them on the monitor) so I was hopeful that things were progressing.

My midwife came in around 7 that morning (I was scheduled to have a c section at 7:30) and checked me.  I was only dilated to a 2.  10 hours after entering the hospital I had only dilated from a 1 to a 2.  We talked about if I should continue to try and labor or go ahead with the scheduled c section.  I was super discouraged and ready to throw in the towel and do the c section but my midwife said that I had made some progress and that they could try a little pitocin to try and get things going, so that is what we decided to do.  So we waited...and waited.  My poor mom and Christian were with me in the room, but I was in a high risk pregnancy room because L&D was packed and they wanted me close to the OR if needed, but the high risk rooms are much smaller with no second bed.  A nurse did bring a stretcher in and my mom and Christian took turns sleeping in it (big shout out to my mom and Christian who spent hours and hours over the three days in the hospital with me).

Around noon my epidural started to wear off, but only on my left side, it was terrible.  The anesthesiologist came back and fixed it and then I was checked again and was at a 6.  I started to get hopeful again (that's a pretty common theme here, hope followed by despair).  They decided to slowly keep turning the pitocin up every 30 minutes to keep things going.  I was so hungry and thirsty because they wouldn't let me eat or drink anything.  They finally let me have some ice chips and water ice, which tasted amazing at time and got my spirits back up.  About 4 hours later my midwife came back to check me...and no change.  I was still at a 6.  I again lost it, pain and no sleep or food makes you more crazy and emotional than you already are.  And that's when the talk about a c section started again.  My midwifes shift was almost over and another doctor was going to be on call.  She asked if I wanted to try a little longer and I agreed.  The doctor came in and talked to me.  He said his recommendation would be to go ahead with the c section right away, but if I wanted to wait, he would have someone check me and then have the same person check me again to see if any progress had been made.  They even put an internal monitor in to make sure my contractions were strong enough to make me dilate (they were, which made me feel better about being in so much pain even though I wasn't dilating).  So the nurse checked me and then we did all kinds or crazy positions and moving around to try one last attempt to get things going.  2 hours later she checked me again and there was still no change so we started prepping for a c section.  After laboring for 3 days and spending the last 20 hours in the hospital, it was clear this guy wasn't coming on his own.

I was pretty emotional, not because I had to have a c section, but I think out of sheer exhaustion.  At this point I knew that this was the way it needed to be.  They got Christian scrubs, prepped the OR and we were on our way.

Once they had me prepped in the OR they got Christian and then got started.  I was super nervous and excited.  There was still a small chance he might have trisomy 18, so I wanted him here and to know he was ok.  Once they started operating on me, I started to get super nauseous.  And it kept getting worse the more time went past.  It felt like my stomach was on fire.  Once they got him out I started to literally vomit.  Poor Christian, he didn't know what to do, he felt bad that I was vomiting and wanted to be by me, but I wanted him to go with the baby and make sure he was ok.  I also felt bad for the poor anesthesia guy who had to hold my head and vomit bucket.  And after I was done vomiting I couldn't stop dry heaving.  It's a terrible feeling when you're vomiting and dry heaving while someone is operating on your stomach and sewing your guts back together.

When I had a c section with Quincy is seemed to go pretty quickly.  But this time it seemed to be taking forever.  I kept asking if they were almost done and was wondering what was taking so long, especially since I was so sick.  At the time they didn't say anything, but after they had finished the doctor let me know that I had a uterine dehiscence, or a partial uterine rupture, which is where the scar from my previous cesarean had opened.  The doctor said it was caused from trying to labor for so long and the stress it put on my uterus.  The doctor (whom I hadn't met before, he was just the doctor on call) was kind of gruff and told me that I needed to wait a few years if I wanted to have more children because it was likely to happen again and next time I might not be so lucky.

So I will not be able to try for a VBAC again, which I'm ok with.  In some ways I'm upset that I tried so hard for so long again, only to end up with a cesarean.  But in other ways I'm happy I tried.  It almost gives me some validation about what happened with Quincy's birth.  I've always had some "what ifs" about her birth and now I know that's just how it needed to be.  And now I know that I'll NEVER have to have another contraction again!!!!

BUT this story has a happy ending.  I have an adorable HEALTHY baby boy.  Tate Christian Engebretsen was born on April 2nd at 7:45 PM, was 21 inches long, and weighed 8 lbs 7 oz. He is such a good baby, sleeps and eats like a champ and I couldn't love him more.  He was worth every pain, contraction, scare, and complication.  We're so happy he's here!